Perfect Parent

    Your baby should be doing this by this age. You need to do it this way. Why on earth do you do that? Oh you shouldn't do that, it's not good for the baby. Those phrases are said to parents over and over on a daily basis. It can make it a little overwhelming at times for any parent, especially a new one. The pressure can make a parent feel like they have to be perfect and if they do one thing wrong they have messed up their child's life.
     With my daughter I strived to do everything the way I was supposed to according to society. I kept track of what other parents did and how their children acted. If I slipped up and did it differently, I mentally beat myself up. If she wasn't doing things the same time other kids her age were, I was worried that I was failing her as a mom. Then her father and I split up. I panicked inside at the thought that I couldn't do everything for her. I would literally have mental breakdowns because I felt like I was a horrible parent because I let her watch more tv than the doctor said I should.
      When my son was born, I began to do it to myself again. I began to worry that I wasn't giving my daughter enough attention or affection. Then she started to argue more and I would have to discipline her when her arguments turned into tantrums. I know this is typical for her age, especially when a new sibling is introduced. I voiced to my partner that I felt like I was letting her down, and that I felt like by working outside of the home I wasn't doing everything I could for my children. He snapped me out of it. He made me sit down and realize that I have two happy, healthy children that have everything they need. They are loved and each get time with me even with my hectic work schedule. I do things in a way that feel comfortable and right to my inner mommy. I do things that society looks down upon. I cosleep with my children, let them watch tv(not much though), and so much more. I am human though and I am allowed to make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, but there are plenty of great parents.
       Why do we feel so pressured to be perfect? Maybe it's because we see countless articles about celebrity moms who get their pre-pregnancy bodies back in weeks. We see them buying organic everything for their kids, and we see how their kids are even living their lives. Our society has raised us to pick at each other and tear each other down by comparing each other's lives. We as moms should embrace each other and encourage each other as we raise the future leaders of this world. I read an article in a parenting magazine about how the Unite States compares to other countries regarding parenting skills. We worry a lot more than they do. We feel the need to be on a strict bedtime schedule, milestone schedule, and something must be wrong if we do not stick to them. We separate ourselves from our kids when it feels more natural to have them near us. Mothers are not looked up to like they used to be in society. We give birth(or adopt which is a tremendous step accomplishment as well in my opinion), nurture, teach, and guide little human beings as they grow. We multitask beyond belief in a single day, let alone a lifetime. We should celebrate our roles as mothers, rather than worry if we are doing it exactly as we should. Since coming to this realization that I can never be a perfect parent, my stress level has decreased greatly.