Doubt Arises

  While I am now confident that breastfeeding is best for Milk Monster, and that he is perfectly healthy, there have been times where doubt arose. Milk Monster weighed a little less than eight pounds when he was born and was twenty inches long. He began to gain weight at a decent pace, then had a huge growth spurt within two months. At his four month check up he was about sixteen pounds and twenty-six inches long. I felt confident in him receiving the nutrients he needed all from my milk.
   When I took Milk Monster to his six month appointment, he had not gained any weight or gotten any longer. I was saddened by this, but his pediatrician made no comment about it. Instead she seemed satisfied with him being healthy and breastfed. That following week we had an appointment with WIC to have him weighed and measured. The nurse entered his height and weight into the system that keeps track of it for them. She became concerned by the fact that he was not growing, or so it seemed to her. I tried to brush it aside because his father's family is on the shorter side, and I am not very tall either.
     That night when I went home I began to doubt whether or not my milk was helping him grow. We had begun to introduce him to solids, but he preferred mommy's milk. I kept brushing aside my fears, trying to focus on the fact that breastmilk is best for him. Then a few days later he was fussy and seemed to be constantly nursing. He was screaming loudly, as if he was still hungry immediately after nursing. I broke down crying, believing my milk supply was decreasing. So I gave him a bottle of pumped milk that I had thawed. I began reaching out to breastfeeding communities for advice, hoping I could avoid switching him to formula. It was like going through what I did with The Princess all over again. I bought fenugreek and mother's milk tea in the hopes of increasing my supply. I went to bed that night crying, but hopeful. Luckily my supply had not dried up and after almost three months I have accepted that I am doing what is best for him. I can see Milk Monster has grown, and I am hopeful for his next appointment. Even though he is small for his age, he is happy and healthy. I will do my best from now on to not let others make me doubt my body's ability to provide for my child.