Baby Fever

   So that wonderful feeling has struck me once more. That internal itch that nags at you and nags at you until you acknowledge it. Every baby you see stirs up an incredible desire as if you are gollum in Lord of the Rings and must obtain your precious. That's right folks, baby fever. It has hit me and it has hit me HARD. You would think that with a sarcastic five year old that is a constant reminder of myself at that age, and a toddler teetering on the edge of the terrible twos cliff would be enough to derail these urges. Nope, not in the least bit it seems. In fact I think that as Milk Monster continues to grow and hit new milestones the urge merely grows.
   When my husband and I had Milk Monster, we discussed the possibility of more children. He was honest in his feelings that he was happy with just our two children. I on the other hand have a strong desire for more children. We recently had to have a new discussion about this since we had a pregnancy scare. He admitted to being okay with having one more, maybe not right now, but one more in the next few years. Well knowing that he would be okay with another child has only increased my desire for another child. I try my best to not voice this desire, so it won't bother him, but it is becoming too difficult. I have one issue though...will Milk Monster be okay with sharing mama's milk? He is a little piglet even at 20 months old. If my husband pretends to reach for my chest, Milk Monster flips out and yells at him. Then immediately after he chases his father off, he has to nurse. As if he is an explorer laying claim to land. Then there's the fact that instead of using a toy bottle to feed his baby doll, he brings her to me to nurse her. So he knows the concept of mommy having the milk for babies. He is okay with his doll having my milk, so maybe he would be okay with a little brother or sister having my milk as well.
    So for now I am filling my baby fever with the adorable babies that come into my workplace. I can't hold them, but I sure can make them smile or laugh. It's not completely working, but it's enough for now. Sadly for my husband it may not work for long. It's like giving decaf to a coffee addict. It's just not the same.

Mommy Panic Moment

  Yesterday I had a major mommy panic moment. One of those dreaded moments where something happens to your child, and in that moment you are the worst mother on Earth. No-in the entire universe. What exactly happened? Well I was cooking dinner, and I asked The Princess to take Milk Monster upstairs to play in their room. Normally this is an uneventful moment. The most that usually happens is a small argument over a toy. Suddenly I heard Milk Monster screaming hysterically, as if he was in pain. Next thing I know, he is downstairs grabbing at his leg and crying for me. His pajama pants seemed bleached out on his leg. I ripped them off and smelled bleach. I don't buy bleach so I didn't know where it came from. The Princess came down carrying a spray bottle of mildew cleaner that Milk Monster had gotten into. Then it dawned on me, the landlord had left the bottle here. So we put it upstairs under the bathroom sink with the safety locks on it. Milk Monster, being the smart little guy he is becoming, had figured out the safety lock. I called their father panicking and had him come home from work. While I waited for him to come home, I put Milk Monster in the tub with cool water to wash the bleach off of him. He instantly calmed downed and started playing. I was in tears when daddy arrived home. He checked Milk Monster's leg and found that other than his eczema being irritated, he was fine. Then he spent the next half hour trying to coax me out of my mommy bashing mood. Even though it seemed terrible in the moment, accidents happen. Milk Monster is okay, alive, and other than his skin being irritated, nothing horrible happened. We want so badly to protect our children from everything that can hurt them, but we also need to accept that sometimes we can't always protect our kids. We can do our best, but when accidents do happen we need to stay calm instead of panicking. I know, easier said than done. Now I was planning on writing more, but Milk Monster is demanding to nurse.